


Only God Knows Why

by atlas_white



Category: Ghost - Mystery Skulls (Music Video), Mystery Skulls (Band)
Genre: Child Loss, Gen, Grief/Mourning, there is no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 07:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3373721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atlas_white/pseuds/atlas_white
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The phone call that shattered the Pepper family's lives did not come from the police. It was not sober or somber, and it did not begin with "I'm sorry, Mrs. Pepper".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only God Knows Why

_Mrs. Pepper - Only God Knows Why_

It was late at night when Lewis became a member of the Pepper family. 

It seemed that he'd just chosen the house because it was close, and he'd seen the tire swing outside and the toys that meant there were children there. That had made the boy, so young at the time, feel like maybe he would be safe there. He had been absolutely right, and that had been a gift to all involved. 

He had been small and hurt and scared, but inside that house he'd found a beautiful family that fell in love with him instantly, and although he was very shy-- not even willing to speak at first unless he had to-- he didn't take long to open up to them, although he never did go into what had happened to bring him to their door in the first place. Eventually it had been accepted that the mystery would never be solved. No matter where he came from, he was a Pepper now and his parents loved him as dearly as they loved their biological children. He was their pride and joy, growing into the finest young man any parent could ask for, learning their trade and volunteering to help wherever he could, watching _Sailor Moon_ with his sisters, playing at paranormal detectives with his friends every Saturday when he was free and coming back with grand stories of ghosts and spirits. 

It was late at night when that came to an end, too. 

The phone call that shattered the Pepper family's lives did not come from the police. It was not sober or somber, and it did not begin with "I'm sorry, Mrs. Pepper". It came from Vivi, well after they were supposed to have come home, and it was so frantic that at first Mrs. Pepper couldn't even figure out what exactly the young woman was trying to tell her, although the mere fact that Lewis's girlfriend was calling her like this gave Mrs. Pepper the most paralyzing feeling of dread she had ever known in her life. 

She'd known something was wrong. She'd been sitting by the phone, wide awake, thinking maybe she should call him and see what was taking so long (he was an adult now, she reminded herself, she needed to give him some space). And here was the call, the call she'd dreaded, the one where Vivi was trying to tell her something and she didn't even want to know what, even knowing that she _had_ to. 

There, somewhere in all that breathless mess of words and the convulsive sobbing that made it that much more difficult to understand, Mrs. Pepper managed to make out the words that made her heart stop and her whole world with it. She heard the name _Lewis_. She heard the word _accident_. She heard the word _dead_. 

For a moment she was silent, and her hand trembled around the phone. Behind her, her husband had wakened (had he ever been asleep?) and was watching anxiously, aware that something had to be wrong. Somehow, she felt like his being awake as well made it more real. 

Then, angry and confused and this horrible mess of other emotions that all welled up at once, she shouted furiously into the phone; "Get a hold of yourself, Vivi! Where are you? _Where's Lewis?_ " 

She didn't even ask what had happened. That she would find out when she got there. 

Vivi was in hysterics. She barely managed to tell Mrs. Pepper where they were and that was as much as she could say before she had broken down into loud sobs, and she must have dropped the phone because her voice suddenly got further away and she wouldn't answer when Mrs. Pepper called her name into the receiver. 

The tall chef wheeled around and told her husband to get dressed. They left immediately after. 

\-- 

The light of the ambulances and police cars over the horizon made Mrs. Pepper feel a cold spread throughout her entire body, as if all the air had just been sucked out of their van. Nothing in the world could have been so horrible. There was an old mine, and the vehicles were crowded in ordered chaos in front of it, so many men in uniforms moving about the scene looking like ants, working like clockwork _(was this so routine to them?)_. It didn't even seem real. 

The chef had driven like a bat out of hell and arrived on the scene not long at all after the officials. She knew this as she saw the back door of an ambulance being closed, and wondered frantically if Lewis was in there-- if he was, and the sirens were on, that meant there still was a chance. She saw Vivi watching after it, bathed in the flashing blue and red lights, her whole body quaking, the hysterics having run their course and left her without any strength at all. The young woman was petite, but she had never looked so small before, so helpless. There was a lifelessness in her red and soaking eyes that should never exist in the eyes of someone that young. Even her dog, Mystery, looked miserable, ears folded back, head rested on his paws as though he would never wag his tail again. _There was no way that Lewis was in that ambulance, was there?_

Mr. Pepper hung back anxiously, surveying the scene. His wife had not been able to tell him any more than that there had been an accident and Lewis was involved. She had to be the strong one, and she knew that if she put it into words, she would break down long before the adrenaline wore off, and she needed to stay on her feet just a little while longer. There was work to be done, she told herself, as if she were back in the restaurant, as if she were not standing outside this dangerous old mine surrounded by emergency personnel, knowing that _something_ had happened to Lewis _(it couldn't be what she thought, couldn't be what Vivi had been trying to tell her--what_ had _Vivi been trying to tell her?)_. 

She needed to be strong until she saw him. She had to see him, had to know. Otherwise she would be lost in pretending. This had to be a nightmare, after all, just a bad dream she would wake up from. She would hurry into Lewis's room in her nightgown and she would hold him and kiss his sweet face and everything would be alright. She'd fix everybody the raspberry pancakes he liked so much and it would all be over, no harm done at all. 

Mrs. Pepper went up to one of the officers emerging from the mine. His face was grave. He gave her this look like people do in movies when they're looking at someone they pity, and she couldn't think of how he would know to do it but her heart was sinking lower and lower even before she asked him the questions. 

"What happened? Where is my _son?_ " 

He shook his head, and that was something out of a movie too _, this could not be real_ , so stiffly he said, "Ma'am, there's been an accident," it could not be anything but a nightmare. 

"I _know_ there's been an accident!" Mrs. Pepper snapped. "What I _want_ to know is what _happened!_ " 

He asked her to describe her son and when she did, this look came onto his face like he'd just come onto the single saddest sight in the world, and truly it was so, for nothing in the world is more heartbreaking than a mother who has outlived her child. 

\-- 

When she saw Lewis, the adrenaline or whatever it was keeping her upright wore off instantly. 

Mr. Pepper stayed upstairs with Vivi in the hospital waiting room as they shared their grief and waited for news of Arthur, _the one who'd been in the ambulance_ , injured by whatever it was that had pushed Lewis and.... Vivi hadn't spoken a word. She probably wouldn't for a long time. She had loved Lewis so much. She just leaned against the silently weeping Mr. Pepper and stared into space with wide, sightless eyes as if she were watching him fall again and again and again. 

Downstairs, in the morgue of that same hospital, Mrs. Pepper stood with a man in a white lab coat _(the kind Lewis was always afraid of)_ and stared at her beautiful son's pale face, eyes closed and lips still as if he were only sleeping. But the color was completely gone from his skin, and the thin white sheet over his naked body dipped horribly at the place where his midsection _used to be, should be, wasn't anymore,_ as a painful reminder that so much of him was just _missing_ , that he was absolutely not just sleeping. He was lying in a morgue, _died instantly, ma'am, I'm sorry (that officer wasn't sorry at all)_ , and Mrs. Pepper's entire body shook as the reality hit her like a train, shattering her entire world. This was a nightmare, yes, but there would be no waking up from it. 

Their family could never be complete without Lewis; his smile, his laugh, his kindness and gentle demeanour. The darling son, the eldest child of four. And yet he was gone now, his light snuffed out as suddenly and easily as a candle, and their family would never be complete again. Now there would be an empty chair at their table, empty seat in their van, empty room in their house. Now there would be no big-hearted youth to help them (gentle giant, they would call him, and he would laugh so sweetly, but _oh God they would never hear that laugh again_ ), to be cared for and loved. Now, Mr. and Mrs. Pepper would have to sit their daughters down and look into their eyes and explain to them that their big brother was never coming home again. 

In an instant, he had been taken from them. Lewis was dead. _Her son was dead._

Mrs. Pepper's howling sobs could be heard echoing through the halls of that floor like the shrieks of a lost soul forever damned. No one in the world is more heartbroken than a mother who has outlived her child. ☆ 

**Author's Note:**

>  _No farewell words were spoken, no time to say goodbye. You were gone before we knew it, and only God knows why._  
>  -unknown


End file.
